State Trooper

Driving on his way to work one morning, a man goes flying past an Alabama State Trooper hidden behind some trees in the median of the highway.

When the trooper pulls him over, he asks, "Where are you going in such a hurry?" The man replies, "work". The trooper then asks, "So what in the world do you do at work that is SO important that you have to drive 40 mph over the speed limit to get there?" John responds, "Well officer, I work for the great state of Alabama, like you. I'm a rectum strecther." Puzzled, the officer asks, "And exactly what does a rectum stretcher do?" The man then goes into great detail describing his job, "Well, first, I take a rectum, then I insert one finger, then two, then three, then a whole fist, then eventually two fists...then I stretch and pull until it is over 6 feet across." Well, the trooper thought he had heard it all, but out of curiosity, he just had to ask, "Now what in the hell does the State of Alabama do with a 6-foot asshole?"

The man replies, "They give him a radar gun and a funny hat and park him in the median!"